NB: All of the following are genuine emails received at WW

"Hello, I would like to bring my G/children, could you please tell me what is the last day they finish so that I can plan my visit."
[no mention of the illuminations anywhere in this one]

"Dear Sirs, When are the Illuminations held at Walsall. Also what is the cost this year. Many thanks, A***** W******* BSc"
[what sort of person puts letters after their name when making enquiries?]

"Hello, My wife and I were wondering when the iluminations were going to start this year, could you please let us know the dates. Regards, N*** H******** MIOSH Dip2.OSH SpDipEM MIIRSM"
[oh, apparently this sort of person does]

"LOOKED ON WEBSITE - COULDN'T FIND DATES OR OPENING TIMES OF LIGHTS PLEASE ADVISE REGARDS T**** G******"
[Ok, Ok, no need to shout]

"when is the next walsall illuminations and what time do they start"
[What time? er, after it gets dark at a guess]

"hi i found that its impossible to get any usefull information on your site, i am looking for opening times and prices for the illuminations please can u advice me where i can get this? thank you"
[Yeah, no shit you failed to find the information. Why could that be?]

"Hi, Could you please let me know if there is any way of getting tickets into the arboretum"
[Simple answer - yeah, I'm sure there's *some* way of getting tickets, but this still isn't the place to ask]